Is he right, or am I?
Tough questions around Halloween, both take the kid out trick or treating or somone stay home to pass out the candy?
A Reader Writes:
This is our sons second Halloween, but the first one that he will be trick or treating in, I want my husband to go with me to take our son trick or treating but my husband is afraid to leave the house because he wants to be able to give other children candy. Who’s right here? We got into a knock out drag out fight over it, and he said “Either your handing out candy, or I am it’s your choice that’s the end of this discussion”.
What do you think?
Posted in Halloween
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September 18th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
I think you are asking the wrong question- is he right, or am I.
can do it either way or many different ways. It's not about this particular question, but about how he and you resolve conflicts.
will always be conflicts.
people are not always going to see things the same way. On the positive side, it's good that you are both stating your own views about things to each other. But, you both feel you are right about this issue. I am an attorney and have studied dispute resolution techniques.
all people use poor dispute resolution techniques.
is a game called the win-win game which describes basic conflict resolution and teachers sometimes use to help their students resolve conflict. First, you read the rules- no interrupting.
person takes a turn. Then, one person says his side of things while the other listens- no interrupting.
he is done, the other talks until he is done. If you need to, you can do another round of this- taking turns. Then,you brainstorm- just generate lots of ideas with no critiquing of the ideas.
them all down on paper- not proposals- not positions- not evaluating the ideas. Then, see if there are any ideas you can both agree on. Sometimes, you may need to repeat this process until you get a solution.
this method with your husband and see if you can get a win-win solution to the halloween situation.
wishes.
October 8th, 2007 at 3:17 am
Hmm. . . where do you live? I have lived in 2 different homes in the past 10 yrs. In each, we sat out a big bowl of candy bars with a sign posted above that read, “Help yourself to just one. You are being watched”. We then dressed up like dummies and placed ourselves throughout the front yard, stoop, etc.. Most didn’t know we were actually in costume. The kids were really good about just taking one candy bar. If you really have concerns about other kids getting candy. Sit the bowl, hang the sign, and leave. You enjoy your son’s Halloween and your conscience is clear. If you live in a bad area of town, this probably won’t work.